When Prayer Covers Panic and So Much More

I awake to the sounds of the middle one and his father talking quietly.  It is earlier than normal...father and son discussing strategies for the tournament to be played in a few hours.  The morning is planned and they are up early and dressed and will leave within the hour.  He told us last night he needed to be there right before seven. 

My husband he shares golf wisdom and the son he listens.  That's when it happens.  The cell phone vibrates on the bar.  I grimace because calls this early in the morning are never good.  My son's team mate he is calling to see where he is.  The hour to leave the school was six not seven and time is moving forward without a thought to those who are late.  My child hits high gear...which is rare.  He grabs the clubs and says let's go...we have to hurry...

Panic rising, "They will leave without me!"

They rush out of the door and I feel the panic too.  I am holding my own tears at bay.  I know that feeling...the panic over something forgotten...getting the time wrong.  My own heart is pounding because that is what happens to moms who are feeling helpless.  I wander to my sacred space...the chair gently calling to me. 

"Lord, show me how to pray.  Give me your word for my son today."

I open His word with a heavy heart wanting to fix what I can't.  Only turning back time could get them there on time and I wish I could but turning wheels only go so fast.

I've never read this Psalm before...not a highlight or note one in the margin.  I have never read it but I know it.  It is the words to a song I love.

Your Love O Lord by Third Day

"Your love O Lord...reaches to the heavens.  Your faithfulness stretches to the sky.  Your righteousness is like the mighty mountain..."

The words they soothe this mother's soul.  A reminder of who the One I serve is.  A reminder that his name is Faithful.  He loves stretches far beyond the spinning of this earth or the ticking of the clock.  He is righteous and just. 

It is hard to live in a world where teams drive off in buses without us, where the bad seems to outweigh the good, and clock hands keep spinning...and life can leave us behind.  It is even harder to parent those learning to live in the world.  No we don't have the power to turn back time...but we do have a choice to let our kids know what the God we serve is like...faithful...true.

 I can still see the text I sent...even maybe imagine Jesus writing the same message to me...to him...to you and yours.

"At the end of the day know that I love you."