My mom used to say, "I don't ground my kids because when I do, I am grounding myself too." I have come to realize over the years that discipline promises must be kept, and this is why I try to always stop and consider if I can keep the promise I am making.
Dr. Leman, author of Have a New Teenager by Friday, says this about grounding:
"If you are going to ground a kid for an infraction, ground him for 24 hours. If it is major than 48. But grounding means that he goes nowhere. That means not to Grandma's house for dinner, not to the concert he has a ticket for, not to youth group...And if grounding him or her causes you all sorts of problems--then hey, don't do it....So if you're going to ground your kid, don't fling words out in anger like "You're grounded for life!" That's laughable, because you can't follow through, and your kids knows it....Instead, ground him for 24 hours and make sure he goes nowhere. Now that will make an impression."
I kept the promise to the teen over the summer. He is now just one step away from getting those clubs back. Keeping that promise has been difficult but I am seeing the changes in him. Today he leaves the house and expresses his excitement about reaching the goal. He has done the work, made the needed changes, and the promise has in some way created a reward. Something he can feel good about...be excited about.
It is a must read How to Have a New Teenager by Friday. Even if you don't have a teen yet, Dr. Leman's perspective on discipline is right on the money! It can be applied to many ages.
"Point your kids in the right direction--when they're old they won't get lost."--Prov. 22: 6
