Excuses...excuses!

I enjoyed a wonderful Saturday filled with women telling their stories.  The one speaking tells of how she has been a member of the same church all her life.  She was baptized, confirmed, and married in the same place.  With the birth of her first child she continued to attend this church.  Around six years later she had her second child and she says, "The world began to get in the way of going to church."  After all she was a wife, mother of two and worked full time. 

One night she went to tuck her sons into bed and she found the six year old snuggled up with the baby reading from a children's bible.  She explained how her eyes welled up with tears at this sacred moment.  She told her son how proud she was of him. 

He turned to her and with obvious frustration said, "Well, SOMEBODY'S got to teach him about Jesus!"

This week we will learn about a baby whose mom placed him a tiny basket to save his life.  He was raised in the Egyptian culture and nurtured to maturity by a princess.  His choices forced him into hiding where he tended sheep for a Midianite.  All the while God was providing and protecting him so that he could live out what his mother knew from the beginning...that he had a special purpose.

I can't help but think about Moses' conversation with God there at the burning bush.  He had become a man of excuses.  God called him to lead and he responded with excuse after excuse.  I stutter...I'm not a leader...what if the people don't listen...who will believe me?

Just this morning I read,

To be changed into the image of the Lord, you must see His glory with an unveiled face.  Excuses are the biggest veil that keep people from seeing Him as He is, and from seeing themselves as they are.  Those with the veil do not change.--Rick Joyner

If I'm honest I find I am a giver of excuses.  Like my friend and Moses I too would like to find some reason to avoid those things God calls me to do...especially the hard things.  These days when I find myself giving an excuse it usually means I need to stop and listen...to examine my own heart in whatever the circumstance might be.   It's a signal to ask God to search my heart and reveal to me what's going on.  Often it leads me reluctantly to repentance.  Recognizing that the reason I am avoiding the issue is because taking a look at myself is not always pretty.

Kids are masters at giving excuses.  They have the natural ability to turn almost anything into someone else's fault.  As a parent of teens, I've seen this excuse giving invade every area of my kids life.

"Why did you fail the test?"...the teacher doesn't like me.
"Why were you late?"...my alarm didn't wake me up.
"Why do you need a phone?"...all my friends have one.
"What caused the fight with that person?"...they started it.

It's enough to make a parent want to scream!  Sadly, I've "spoken loudly" on occasion to these excuse giving humans living under my roof.

The thing is it doesn't usually bring my child to a point of recognizing their own role in the situation.  At some point I realized that this just wasn't working.  If I wanted my children to claim their responsibility in life's circumstances I  somehow needed to lead them to see the circumstance differently.

When I hear my kids giving excuses these days, I usually respond with a question.  When it comes to relationships with peers or adults, the first thing I try to do is listen.  I want them to know they can trust me to talk about their issues.  After all, I am their biggest fan.  But after the dust settles and the emotion is spent I usually ask, "What was your role in the situation?"  Could you have done something different?  Where do you go from here?

I would love to say that this is a magic fix.  But often these questions are answered with more excuses.  With each one I try to gently lead them to examine their own behavior, actions and reactions.  In the end it's the only thing they have power to change.

The journey is long to recognize that our excuses don't serve the greater plan.  They just serve as a veil that blocks our view of God and who God is in us.  I'm convinced that part of the work of grace in our lives is our ability to see excuses for what they are.  It gives us the opportunity to open our hearts wide to the work of repentance.   No, it's not pretty to us...the very act of grace hanging on a cross is not something we consider beautiful either...but to God...it is beauty beyond measure.